My Year of Eating Like the World Ended – Report 2 of 13

Mon, 10.01.2018

It’s very isolated here on my mountain, to begin with, and for this experiment, I’m intentionally limiting my human contacts. I don’t know how long I can maintain that, but I really want to give myself a taste of what living off of my pantry in the aftermath of some type of a disaster would be like.

All that to say, I don’t have a lot of entertainment options. Good thing I have both Netflix and Amazon Prime!

Before I came to the mountain though, I did animal rescue in Myrtle Beach. When I moved here, I brought three cats with me. Patches is my little nearly blind girl. She can see, but it would be like if you dipped a pair of reading glasses in milk and let it dry, then put them back on.

The vet said that they’d slowly get worse, and that’s happening. Tonight, she had a bit of a freak out, so in between writing assignments, I had to do a fair bit of kitty consoling. Poor girl.

Planning on sitting on the porch with her as often as she’s in the mood for it so we can take in some more sunsets before her vision finally goes for good.

Steady writing day but HATING the food right now. That’s by design. I want to eat my least favorites first, so I’ll have more enjoyable food choices as the experiment grinds on.

Tues, 10.02.2018

To change things up a bit, food-wise, I raided the freezer stocks today and started in on some boxed fried food. It’s not great, but better than the Cream of Evil and Canned Evil.

Ventured into town briefly to get a bag of mini-oranges. Not for me, but to give Patches something to play with that had an interesting texture and scent. When she grows tired of them, I’ll take them to the baby cows (mini moos!) and give them a snack!

Took delivery of this month’s trade goods and got another sunset in with the Patch.

Wed, 10.03.2018

Broke today’s writing up with some pallet busting for Mike to make good on my half of the monthly trade and managed to squeeze in another sunset with the cat. Good stuff.

Thurs, 10.04.2018

HUGE writing day and my diet didn’t really feel like I’m on an “end of the world” diet – breakfast was superb, and I snacked on fried junk all afternoon. Was so full after all that, I didn’t even feel like dinner.

My day’s entertainment revolved around the cats. They played a “game” today that I’ve seen them play before. I’m sure they don’t have a name for it, but I’ve taken to calling it “Smack My Butt” – it’s got actual RULES and everything. Heh. It goes something like this:

One cat is “it.” The “it-cat” gets on a box with the others circling around for mock attacks. 

Hits scored to the head and shoulders don’t count. But if a cat scores a hit on the “it-cat’s” butt, that cat becomes the new “it-cat” and the one on the box is out, so they trade places and the game continues.

Since Patches is mostly blind, they give her credit for near-hits.

They did this for more than an hour tonight. I was in awe. I’m sure there are other rules that my dumb human brain just can’t comprehend, but I enjoyed that more than today’s background movie watching. Good stuff.

Fri, 10.05.2018

Tough day that highlights the importance of good neighbors in times of crisis. Today was fence mending day. Some of “Granny’s” cows had knocked over a couple of sections of fence and escaped. It fell to others to round up the wayward cows, but Granny and I attended to the fence repairs. It took the entire day to make the repairs and walk the fence line to be sure we got them all (three in total). That done, Granny thanked me by inviting me to dinner. We had “roast beast” with potatoes, carrots, and onions. I have no idea what manner of beast we ate and did not ask. It was gamey – too small to have been deer, so I don’t know what I put in my belly, but it was tasty enough, and there was even pecan pie for dessert!

I hurt everywhere though. No writing today. When we finally finished, I slathered myself with icy hot, powered up the TENS unit and face-planted.

When I got up for a drink, I discovered that at some point during the festivities, I acquired a new wound. Some kind of nasty bite on my calf. No idea what bit me, or when, but I drained it, cleaned it, put some triple AB cream on it and then went back to bed. Tough day. Good day, but exhausting.

Sat, 10.06.2018

Still aching everywhere and getting REALLY sick of the nasty food I’m currently eating. I’ll be so glad when I’ve run out of the bad stuff.

Made an Executive Decision too – for the time being, I’m limiting myself to half my usual coffee (down to one pot a day, instead of two). That will be tough for a while, but I’m burning through my coffee supplies at an alarming rate. Better to take the hit NOW and slow the rate of use while I’ve still got plentiful supplies than to run out and spend several months wondering why I didn’t plan better. Rationing starts today.

Not much writing because it hurts too much to focus. Leg is red and shows the beginning stages of infection. Draining and cleaning again. I’ve got some antibiotic pills I’d stockpiled months earlier. Putting myself on a five-day course to beat the infection back. We’ll see how it goes.

Sun, 10.07.2018

In my mind, trade is an essential part of the equation for dealing with the aftermath of any crisis that extends beyond the short term, so it’s something I’m relying heavily on for this experiment and today was a BIG trading day.

I needed a change of pace and scenery, so I took the day off to meet up with a likeminded couple who are interested in preparedness. My goal was to offload my 8 bags of Thai Coconut Curry since I’m allergic to coconut. On paper, that’s 40 meals from my stock, but for me, it represents zero meals.

I did not get 40 meals back in trade, but I’m very happy with what I came away with, netting myself the following goodies:

After our trade was concluded, we went to the local Goodwill, where I picked up a few books, since my entertainment options are quite limited, and I snagged a couple of new silly hats. Hey, don’t judge me. LOL – I collect silly hats as a reminder that I should never take myself too seriously.

While there, I also noticed a pack of “Prevail Male Guards” and couldn’t resist the urge to have a picture taken while holding them (my friends said, “now you’re ready for an all-night writing session…you don’t even have to get up to pee!” (they were kidding, of course, the male guards remained in the store, but it made a funny picture!)

Mon, 10.08.2018

The return to isolation and the nasty food were very jarring after a pleasant day spent in the company of others. Can’t say it was a very productive day, but I moved the ball forward, and that’s what counts.

Tues, 10.09.2018

More trading! This time, with one of my neighbors, Mike (same guy I’m busting those pallets for).

I swapped out a roast and a nice sirloin for 2 squashes, 2 sweet potatoes and a Digiorno Supreme Pizza! That’s a huge treat.

Planning on binging on pizza all day today, so I skipped breakfast after returning home with my goodies.

Ended the day so full I could barely move, which was good in a way. It kept me in the writing chair!

Thurs, 10.10.2018

Armed with a couple of sweet potatoes (which I love), and some fresh veg, I decided to revisit a recipe I invented several years ago: SuperNovas! (because they’re a supernova of flavor).

Simple recipe: Bake a potato (or in this case, a sweet potato).

Butter, brown sugar, salt, then sauté what veggies you’ve got and smother that potato with it. I even added the bacon bits left over from the salad makings Sharon brought up, used some of the squash and added a bag of mixed veggies from the freezer. It was like dessert for breakfast, and relatively healthy too, which made the Canned Evil later in the day a bit easier to choke down.

Thurs, 10.11.2018

Got cold enough to turn the heater on for the first time this evening. Solid writing day, so it feels like I’m finding my groove again. Used the second sweet potato, most of the rest of the squash and the rest of the bagged veggies from the freezer to make another Supernova.

Fri, 10.12.2018

And…. there goes the momentum. Can’t seem to jumpstart the Muse today. Ate the last of the squash but struggled to get my arms around the writing. Feels like the week is going to end on a “Meh” note after a couple of strong days in the middle. Not what I was hoping, but not bad.

Sat, 10.13.2018

Better writing day today than yesterday and my spirits are up. Super cold this morning though. Heater running full tilt and I even had a cup of hot coffee (normally I drink it iced).

I feel as though the Cream of Evil and Canned Evil multiply when I’m not looking…not sure if I’m ever going to reach the end of those. Gross.

One thing I did though is that I put all of the remaining Cream of Evil in an old Ice Cream Tub I had recycled some months back so at least it’s all in one place. I can take some small amount of pleasure from watching the level drop, knowing that once that tub is empty, I won’t have to worry about eating any more of that nastiness, at least.

Sun, 10.14.2018

Extremely cold morning. No doubt that winter is coming, which means that I’ve got to get the drawbridge that connects the cattery with the house fixed.

My first version of it saw me hooping chicken wire over a board kind of like a covered wagon. Unfortunately, Bella (my youngest and most adventurous cat) proved to be a true escape artist, and figure out how to get out of the house via the drawbridge, then discovered that if she stood on the hooped chicken wire, she could smoosh it down enough to get back inside.

The first time it snows, given the damage already done to it, it’s going to get crushed. I’ve got a revised plan – just need some time and an extra pair of hands to implement it.

Still hating the diet, but continuing to slog through my stocks of nasty food.

Mon, 10.15.2018

More cold and another brutal writing day. Both heaters running full tilt and the electric blanket. Mmmm…electric blanket.

Tues, 10.16.2018

More trading today, and it’s significant! Found someone who loves canned evil! I promptly traded my entire remaining stock in exchange for a whole turkey. Smallish, and I took a per meal loss on the trade, but if it means no more eating Canned Evil, I’ll gladly take it!

Also arranged to swap labor (more fence repair) in exchange for help with the Cat Drawbridge. Doing my part today, so not much writing.

Wed, 10.17.2018

Mission accomplished. I’m tired, and I ache everywhere, but I did manage to get a few writing pieces done today. Whole house smells like Ben Gay, and I’m too tired and sore to care. When was I going to get the memo that I’m getting old?

Thurs, 10.18.2018

Trying the Asian rice from Valley Food Storage. As usual, the company recommends WAY too much water, so it had an almost soup like consistency, but I’ll correct for that in future batches. Added a bag of mixed veggies from the freezer and two packs of sirloin tips. If I had been thinking, I’d have used chicken instead, which would have tasted better. Still, not bad, and honestly, I’m still too sore to care.

Unfortunately, today also saw me get injured again.

One of Granny’s “mini moos” (year old cows) got himself caught in some barbed wire. I heard the bleating from my house and went to investigate.

Since I used to do animal rescue, I got asked to help and sore from yesterday or not, I readily agreed.

The “mini moos” are over a year old now though, and not really mini any more. They’re HUGE! I usually work with dogs and cats, not cows, but I figured the concept was about the same.

Poor guy was obviously in pain. I approached him head on, arms out. Slowly. Gave him a head butt in greeting and slowly moved around to the back leg so I could see the best way to get him unstuck, and then – just went for it. He was too big to try and control, so I figured I’d rely on speed.

It basically worked. I got the cow unstuck, but as he got free, he bucked like a horse and struck me a grazing blow.

This agitated the other cows and I spent the next 45 seconds to a minute being used as a bearded pinball, getting knocked around the pasture. Not trampled, exactly, but bounced around pretty good.

Finally, the cows calmed down and came to investigate the human lying in the pasture, which is an uncommon sight for them.

The one who had gotten stuck licked me full in the face with his slobbery, raspy tongue in thanks for freeing him, and another cow tried to eat my jacket as I got my feet back under me.

A face full of cow tongue is one of the most unpleasant experiences on the planet, by the way, but that wasn’t the worst of it.

At some point during my time as a human pinball, I landed on a rock that hit between my L4 and L5 vertebrae, one of which is already ruptured and the other herniated. Agony. I got to my feet, but it wasn’t easy.

Limped back home and fell into bed, Icy hot and TENS unit running full tilt. The next several days are going to be rough.

Fri, 10.19.2018

Too sore to eat, but picked at some more of the rice stuff for dinner. Mostly an icy hot and TENS unit day.

Sat, 10.20.2018

Still feel like I’ve been hit by a train, but today is the drawbridge rebuild day. I mostly supervised but helped when and as I was able, and by the end of the day, we got it done. Enclosing a few pictures of the new drawbridge and going back to bed.

Bella tried to escape but could not defeat the new design. She’s been giving me the stink eye all evening. Tough.

Sun, 10.21.2018

Only ate stuff that was fast and easy to prepare today. No writing. Too sore. My biggest accomplishments of the day were changing the batteries on the TENS unit and applying liberal amounts of icy hot. It’s shaping up to be a looooong week.

Mon, 10.22.2018

Granny felt bad for me and came over to bring me one of her delicious pecan pies! Tell you what – I’d almost volunteer to get knocked around the pasture by panicky cows on a weekly basis in exchange for one of those.

Had some for lunch and it got me feeling better – good enough, even, to get out of bed and grill a couple of steaks to toss into a bag of the Valley Foods Mango Habanero Chili, which by the way, is my new favorite. It’s a perfect blend of hot and sweet. This stuff is amazing.

Again, the instructions call for too much water, but I ratcheted it down as I was prepping it and the consistency came out more or less right. Will use slightly less water next time. (1 cup less than the whole bag calls for)

Tues, 10.23.2018

Pecan pie for breakfast is probably the best thing in the world. I love it. I hadn’t expected such decadence during this experiment.

Going to relax for half a day, then try and turn the month’s writing around.

Wed, 10.24.2018

Another food experiment – this time, I’m making a bag of Chicken A La King. Don’t feel like cooking chicken breasts to put in it, so just using a few cans of chicken. It’s slow goings, but I AM getting stuff done.

Thurs, 10.25.2018

Finished off the Chicken A La King – again, the instructions call for more water than is actually needed, but it wasn’t bad. Next time, I’ll add a bit less than the bag calls for.

Now trying some of the White Bean and Lime chili (with steak). It’s not bad. I added less water than called for (1 cup less for a bag) and it came out just about perfect. It’s not as tasty as the mango habanero – in fact, it’s…not bland exactly, but it does need something, just not sure what. Anyway, it’s perfectly acceptable, just not one of my favorites.

Fri, 10.26.2018

The Thrive Life fajita stuff is fantastic and easy to prepare. Even better, the amount of water they recommend is spot on (unlike what I’m experiencing with Valley Foods).

One cool thing, the instructions tell you how to make it right in the bag! I didn’t actually do that, but it’s great that you can, which makes it ideal for inclusion in a bug out bag.

Sat, 10.27.2018

Slow and steady progress. Still sore but didn’t have to do any cooking today. Had plenty of leftovers.

Sun, 10.28.2018

Another insanely cold day and I don’t feel good. Haven’t felt good. Seems like it’s just one thing after another. I bulked up on calories this morning so I could go bust pallets for Mike in anticipation of next month’s trade. I want to be able to just take delivery of my goodies on the first.

Hands and back were aching by the time I finished but managed to write 4k words (hands screaming in protest by the time that was finished).

Mon, 10.29.2018

It didn’t occur to me until today, but my mac, cheese and pork chop creation (using Valley Food Storage freeze dried mac and cheese) is actually fairly similar, ingredient-wise to the Canned Evil that I hate (which was supposedly noodles, cheese, and country ham). Even so, my “version” is vastly superior, and I’ll probably make more.

Only have two packs of steaks left. Once those are gone, I’ll be down to pork, chicken and what venison I can hunt or trade for – could get some more steak via trades I guess – we’ll see how it goes!

Tues, 10.30.2018

Another day feeling somewhat isolated. I’ve had a trip to the dentist on the books for a few months now, but it only occurred to me today that I had scheduled it on the last day of the month. That’s bad because the last few days of each month and the first few days of each new month are my busiest writing days. I’m fairly sure the trip to the dentist is going to be brutal, which means I won’t be in the mood for writing at the exact time I need to be at the top of my game. Bad planning on my part. Need to do better!

Wed, 10.31.2018

Dental trip was as bad as I was expecting. When I got home, my entire face was numb. That wore off in a couple hours, and when it did, I immediately wished my face was still numb.

Managed to nibble on a pop tart, but otherwise, nothing. No writing either. Just…sleep.